Top 100 Favorite Songs, Ever

These are, foremost, songs I enjoy the most of all the music I have heard in my lifetime. It is also a playlist that, if I still had use of my old iTunes, I would have made by now. I love each of these tracks to death - in other words, they will be defended with zeal. These are superior examples of songcraft - at the very least they are simply stellar tracks either on construction or execution - and easily as good as anything their respective eras have produced.

(Also, I know that I cheated for #34, but I don't care. If you know anything about music, this is the law. I'm being 100% serious.)

1. Pearl Jam - 'Black' (Re-master)

2. Fleetwood Mac - 'Go Your Own Way'

3. Jane's Addiction - 'Ted, Just Admit It...'

4. Husker Du - 'Celebrated Summer'

5. Radiohead - 'Let Down'

6. The Velvet Underground - 'Heroin'

7. The Manic Street Preachers - 'Yes'

8. Nirvana - 'Aneurysm'

9. System Of A Down - 'Holy Mountains'

10. The Smiths - 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out'

11. Neil Young - 'Rockin' In The Free World'

12. Radiohead - 'Paranoid Android'

13. REM - 'Try Not To Breathe'

14. The Clash - 'The Card Cheat'

15. Husker Du - 'The Girl Who Lives On Heaven's Hill'

16. Bruce Springsteen - 'Reason To Believe'

17. Simon And Garfunkel - 'The Boxer'

18. Sonic Youth - 'Cross The Breeze'

19. Dinosaur Jr. - 'Sludgefeast'

20. System Of A Down - 'Chop Suey'

21. Bob Dylan - 'Masters Of War'

22. Pink Floyd - 'Time'

23. Metallica - 'Master Of Puppets'

24. Simon And Garfunkel - 'Bridge Over Troubled Water'

25. The Replacements - 'Bastards Of Young'

26. X - 'Johny Hit And Run Paulene'

27. The Stooges - 'Gimme Danger'

28. The Buzzcocks - 'Harmony In My Head'

29. AC/DC - 'Walk All Over You'

30. The Manic Street Preachers - '4st Lb'

31. Dinosaur Jr. - 'Just Like Heaven'

32. Black Sabbath - 'War Pigs/Luke's Wall''

33. Queen - '39''

34. Led Zeppelin - 'Heartbreaker/Living Loving Maid (She's Just A Woman)'

35. The Zombies - 'She's Not There'

36. Pennywise - 'No Reason Why'

37. The Velvet Underground - 'Sweet Jane'

38. Pavement - 'In The Mouth Of A Desert'

39. Black Sabbath - 'Children Of The Grave'

40. The Jesus And Mary Chain - 'Just Like Honey'

41. Big Star - 'December Gurls'

42. Pearl Jam - 'Rearviewmirror'

43. New Order - 'Bizarre Love Triangle'

44. The Pixies - 'Wave Of Mutilation'

45. The Rolling Stones - 'Gimme Shelter'

46. Radiohead - 'Fake Plastic Trees'

47. Sisters Of Mercy - 'Some Kind Of Stranger'

48. The Cure - 'Love Song'

49. Bruce Springsteen - 'Atlantic City'

50. New Order - '1963'

51. Depeche Mode - 'Policy Of Truth'

52. Prince - 'When Doves Cry'

53. Rancid - 'Ruby Soho'

54. R.E.M. - 'The One I Love'

55. Fugazi - 'Repeater'

56. Pulp - 'Common People'

57. The Manic Street Preachers - 'A Design For Life'

58. Faith No More - 'Epic'

59. Oasis - 'Live Forever'

60. Black Flag - 'Six Pack'

61. Big Star - 'Kangaroo'

62. Nick Drake - 'Day Is Done'

63. The Mamas And The Papas - 'California Dreaming'

64. Metallica - 'Disposable Heroes'

65. System Of A Down - 'Spiders'

66. The Manic Street Preachers - 'Motorcycle Emptiness'

67. No Doubt - 'Don't Speak'

68. Nine Inch Nails - 'Ruiner'

69. Sinead O'Connor - 'Nothing Compares 2 You'

70. Operation Ivy - 'Knowledge'

71. Radiohead - 'Jigsaw Falling Into Place'

72. Pearl Jam - 'Alive'

73. Jawbreaker - 'Boxcar'

74. The Buena Vista Social Club - 'El Cuarto De Tula'

75. Guns N' Roses - 'Paradise City'

76. Led Zeppelin - 'Babe I'm Gonna Leave You'

77. Dead Kennedys - 'California Uber Alles'

78. The Smashing Pumpkins - 'Soma'

79. David Bowie - 'Breaking Glass'

80. Simon And Garfunkel - 'Sound Of Silence'

81. The Doors - 'Waiting For The Sun'

82. The Beatles - 'Tomorrow Never Knows'

83. Magazine - 'Shot By Both Sides'

84. The Pixies - 'Gouge Away'

85. Chevelle - 'Closure'

86. Marianne Faithful - 'Sister Morphine'

87. Everclear - 'Santa Monica'

88. Husker Du - 'Could You Be The One?'

89. Sunny Day Real Estate - 'Seven'

90. Big Star - 'Thank You Friends'

91. The Smashing Pumpkins - 'Geek U.S.A.'

92. Van Morrison - 'Sweet Thing'

93. Tears For Fears - 'Everybody Wants To Rule The World'

94. The Zombies - 'Changes'

95. The Police - 'Synchronicity II'

96. Nirvana - 'Scentless Apprentice'

97. Metallica - 'Harvester Of Sorrow'

98. James Chance - 'Contort Yourself'

99. Jefferson Airplane - 'Somebody To Love'

100. The Sex Pistols - 'Holidays In The Sun'

Kevin Smith: Sleazy, Bawdy, And Totally Overrated

Snow-Balling The Audience


Kevin Smith, as a director and writer, is overrated. There is not a single consistent aspect of Smith's film career which has displayed an ability of his which is unique or special to him. His choice of angles are bland, his use of mis-en-scene is at best cobbled together, and his writing, despite being immensely enjoyable at its peak ('Clerks', parts of 'Chasing Amy'), does not have any value outside of raunchy one-liners. His attempts at thematic complexity are shameful, his attempts at maturity are hackneyed and forced, and his general lack of a characteristic as director is present in every single film of his. Any person reading this note can direct a film better than Kevin Smith can. If you think differently, then you are crediting and, consequently, not giving enough credit to, all the wrong people.



Meaty Criticisms


- He turned his back on his artistic success. 'Clerk's served Smith with fame and film deals; in response, he abandoned every nuance of his debut - including the murky black and white which made it a much more authentic experience - with his second film. How and why he did this might not be known, if it weren't for the fact that he publically implied that he would actually sell out if given the opportunity. As Ebert pointed out so brazenly, Smith actually meant it. And so it went, Kevin Smith started to use color for his films.

- Kevin Smith and color (more particularly, fully-saturated color) mix like babies and crushed cyanide tablets. He has no idea what to do with it. Kevin Smith has about as artless a sense of color scheme as anyone you are likely to meet. His use of color in 'Clerks II', for instance, is overt and ugly. The main sin of his decision to embrace the machinery of Hollywood is that his greatest successes came on more organic terms. Even though 'Chasing Amy' was a faux-Freudian jumble, at least it stylistically fit Smith (and remains his second best effort after his classic debut) and at least had an inclination towards the smaller and lean. The high budgets afforded to him on every subsequent release only served to highlight how much more he did with less.

- Kevin Smith may have to do more talking-head features, or even recordings of public appearances. His dynamic in front of the camera has become miles more ingratiating and compelling than the muck he is putting in front of it. I would rather watch an 'Evening With Kevin Smith' over 'Jersey Girl' any day. Kevin Smith's wit cannot be denied; however, his lack of wherewithal to properly showcase it to its greatest effect on the big-screen has been proven time and again. I'm not one for suggesting jobs to people higher on the food-chain than I am, but what Jonathan Demme could do for Spalding Grey, someone could do for Kevin Smith. Just saying.

- 'Mall Rats', 'Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back', 'Clerks II', 'Jersey Girl', and 'Dogma'. This is more than half of Smith's entire filmography, and it all adds up to about 30 minutes of good cinema (with almost all of that coming from 'Dogma'). Kevin Smith's films, for whatever the reason they may be, have become distinctly 'blah'. Seemingly, no matter how high concept the film or sharp as the script may be, his failure is almost guaranteed, with very few exceptions (I have not seen 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno', so I reserve judgment - hell, I'll even count it in his benefit). He is the anti-Tarantino.



Porch Monkey Without A Home


In my opinion, Kevin Smith is the white version of Spike Lee; his reputation precedes him, and to any viewer who approaches him from a disadvantaged angle, it may become very confusing to note what marks his brand of filmmaking as unique. Outside of 'Clerks', no film of his can escape close scrutiny, and indeed his success has seemed to catch him at a disadvantage; studio treatment only serves to amplify just how little of an established aesthetic he has developed as a director. For Kevin Smith, airline hassles and all, it seems almost irrefutable that bigger doesnot mean better. If only he could be ejected from studios for making the same mistake on a artistic level, we might see improvement.


As is, Smith's latest (a studio-funded cop-com very inventively called 'Cop Out') is currently in the process of sinking in a critical ocean filled with derisive waters. It may just be time to begin approaching every Kevin Smith project with antipathy, since maybe then we can approach his films from the same viewpoint that he has apparently begun to. It might just be that he's grown lazy, and doesn't give a shit (akin to George Carlin's view of a God). It may very well be, in Smith's cinematic world, there is no more sun, and perhaps no more joy. If that is so, it is a world I would feel much better seeing less of.

Top 25 Songs of The 80's

At the end of the day (decade), the 1980's were an incredibly odd time period. The fashion styles and attitudes of the time have dated, but the popular music and film of the time have sated even more strangely. It ideally would have served as the transition from 70's culture to 90's sub-culture, but when viewed in retrospect, the decade retains its very own flavor and rhythm (even if the distinction is unflattering). It is not quite as good as either of the decades which surrounded it, artistically, but nevertheless some great music was made (mostly out of the mainstream) by bands that were on the very left end of the cutting edge. This list takes into account mostly their impact and the base quality of each recording - you might disagree with the list on a personal level (I cringe whenever I read a 'Best of the 80s' list personally), but I state with confidence that each of these songs, regardless of genre or industry status, are among the best songs of the decade in structure, hook quality, and thematic clarity. Most of them have also dated quite admirably. Now, without further ado, here is my list. Enjoy.

25. X - 'Los Angeles'
24. REM - 'Its The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)'
23. Slayer - 'Raining Blood'
22. Black Flag - 'Six Pack'
21. Eric B. and Rakhim -'I Know You Got Soul'
20. The Cure - 'Lovesong'
19. Iron Maiden - 'Run To The Hills'
18. Metallica - 'Creeping Death'
17. Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine'
16. EPMD - 'Strictly Business'
15. Prince - 'When Doves Cry'
14. Dead Kennedys - 'California Uber Alles'
13. Sonic Youth - 'Teenage Riot'
12. Richard And Linda Thompson - 'Dont Renege On Our Love'
11. The Jesus & Mary Chain - 'Just Like Honey'
10. Joy Division - 'Love Will Tear Us Apart'
9. The Pixies - 'Monkey Gone To Heaven'
8. The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out'
7. Public Enemy - 'Fight The Power'
6. U2 - 'With Or Without You'
5. The Replacements - 'Bastards Of Young'
4. Husker Du - 'Celebrated Summer'
3. Bruce Springsteen - 'Atlantic City'
2. Neil Young - 'Rockin' In The Free World'
1. Jane's Addiction - 'Ted, Just Admit It'

What is your name?

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I would be Zooey Deschanel. Lots of money, tons of talent in a variety of areas, and great figure. On the downside, James Berardinelli would have a celeb-crush on me. Actually, yeah, no, that's awful and weird. I think I'll cut all of the above in half and go with Katy Perry.

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Sucking at anything.

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WHY DO YOU ENJOY MAKING ME SUFFER YOU F^&*!


And why am I here?

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Target!!!

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'Arrested Development'. There is no other show.

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Introvert, motherfucker!

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'Everybody Loves Phil'


I'd be the lovable patriarch of the family who rules with an iron fist and a goofy smile on his face.

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